Because it's so easy, I'm going to blame my current bout of insanity on Rebecca. A warning to future girlfriends: don't dump me. You will become the scape goat for everything that ever goes wrong for the rest of my life. ~evil Hattie cackle~

I nearly gave my parents heart attacks today, and I think I'm gonna give everyone who reads this a heart attack as well. I'm seriously considering dropping 'acting' as a potential career.

You may go dial 911 now to keep you from dying from a heart attack. I'll still be here when you get back.

Better now?

Seriously. I've had a lot of introspective time this weekend, and I'm beginning to wonder if acting is what I really want to do. It's quite a coup to have nabbed the role of Rosencrantz...but it was a role 11 years coming. Do I want to wait another 11 years to earn my way back into the chorus?

And it's not just that. I've had some amazing experiences this year, in all aspects of my life. One of the most influential being, believe it or not, my work at the library. Before this year, I mostly chose to do the career explorer at the library 'cause it would be an easy credit in my last year of high school. But it has been amazingly fun, and has made me realize what an impact Mrs. Dobrez and Mrs. Rutan have had on my life. Will I be able to make that kind of impact on some other kid's life by being an actor? Not really. There are actors I worship, but I don't know them at all on a personal level. They haven't inspired me in the way the librarians have. I don't know where I'd be without them.

The other influential experience has been helping to coach the forensics team. I still can't get over how I felt last week when Jake performed at forensics. I can hardly imagine what it'd be like to coach a whole team of students to that sort of success. But I think I'd like to try. And if I become a school librarian, I'd have a chance.

Besides, I'd be able to keep doing fun stuff to my hair, which would be severely restricted should I become a professional actor.

But god, it's a hard dream to give up.

Wow. The Oscars were scheduled to be oever at 11:30. It's not quite midnight, and they're presenting Best Picture. This has to be a record. A three-and-a-half-hour Academy Awards.

AHHHHHHH!!! CHICAGO GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Michael Douglas practically had to force the Oscar on the producer, lol.

Anyway. My other insane thought this weekend? I'm considering getting a 20's-style bobed hair cut. Yes, I've seen Chicago too many times.

And all of this just proves that breakups are bad for my psychological health.

In other news...had Nicole, Britt and Jake over for my Oscar party. Yea! We all dressed up pretty. I ended up in my red dress, 'cause the white gown...well, first, with the falsies in it, it wouldn't zip up. Then after Mom took those out, it could be zipped, but breathing and/or sitting down was a bit of an issue. So Mom's gonna have to take out some seams in the sides. After I go on my crash diet. 'Cause I've eaten way too much food this weekend.

Anyway, since we were all together, we of course came up with lots of random phrases that are going down in history quite possibly. For once I contributed to them! Yea! (Usually in my practicalness, I let other people come up with the insane phrases ;-) So here's our list:

"Just ask if you wanna dig in my crotch." --Britt
"The best you can do is be nude." --Jake
"I do. Achoo, achoo." --Jake
"I will not let you probe my brain with your pen." --Jake
"Because I'm not Brad." --Me
"You're very quiet, what's Chris doing now?" --Britt (said while we were harassing Jake via the phone since he had to go home before the rest of us)
"Jake likes himself." --Britt

Okay, so I contributed one. But I'm still proud!

I should go to bed. But I don't want to, 'cause I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Except for rehearsal. But the rest of the day...bah. See Rebecca in the morning and at lunch. I know she said she still wanted to be friends, and I'm all for that...but I'm just not sure if I'm ready for it yet.

But my contacts are being stupid and thus I really should go take them out, clear off my bed, and go to sleep. Tomorrow...I'll just make sure I have all my friends surrounding me whenever I have to be in contact with Rebecca.

No witty quote to end the entry. I'm too tired and depresed. Chicago's win only minimally alleviates my depression. Maybe a haircut would improve my mood.... (Yeah, wouldn't Dana love that one!)

--Angela

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