Phrase of the day for me.

Work is getting bad. The manager no longer even consults me about leaving early. Today she just said to one of the other managers (all three were working for awhile today) that she was going to count down my drawer on the cash register. Um. Okay. Never mind that I kind of wanted to stay for the last hour. Kinda sorta, I guess. Why am I always the one who leaves early? Why doesn't Faith ever have anyone else go home early? I'm not even the most junior member of the staff! Yet I work the least hours. Is it any wonder that I picked up an app at barnes and noble today?

Okay, then I've spent tonight working on a new layout for my diary. It took forever, but I've got all the hard work done. I was hoping I'd be able to post it tonight, but that's just not gonna happen. I'm too tired and cold. But look for it later today. I've gotten confirmation from a few other people that it looks pretty darn cool. I think you'll like it. And it won't take so damn long to load.

Next point of frustration is my friend Amanda. I loved her during "Mattress" but now...I don't know what her issue is, but I'm not the only one having problems with her. Here's our conversation tonight:

Me: I've got Dining Room auditions first, then school is doing "Labors of Love" for MIFA and...sometime in December there's open auditions for "The Vagina Monologues" at GVSU.
Amanda: hmm
Amanda: thats supposed to be a good show
Amanda: but i dont think at this age i should audition for something like that
Me: Why not?
Amanda: think about it
Me: Thinking...coming up with nothing. Remember: I'm tired. Brain is not working properly. I don't think that was my real problem, but I needed to say something. Her reasons never really make sense to me.
Amanda: we're too young to even know what the hell they're talking about. well i mean we KNOW but we dont have age to show its legitamite
Me: But the whole point of the show is Eve Ensler talked to women of all different ages and experiences. There's parts for everyone from 20-something (or 20-something looking) through 99.
Amanda: yeah but not to be a downer but i honestly dont think either of us could pull that off
Amanda: go ahead and try if you so desire
Amanda: i just wont cast kids our age cuz i think it'd look tacky-ish
Me: Well, they're gonna cast *some* people our age. It's a GVSU show. You're a college student, I'm just a few months off. And there's always makeup.
Amanda: 'sup to you
Amanda: i wouldnt do it if i were you
Amanda: id do mifa Competition theatre for high schools around the state. 45 minutes to do a show. Also called a one-act competition, by some. Probably those who are too lazy to explain the whole spiel to other people.
Me: Except that I can predict most of the cast already and I really can't stand a lot of them. Or the director, for that matter. My last MIFA experience was really discouraging, too. Really long story that I'm not gonna get into now
Amanda: well like i said its up to you. but I would cherish the high school theatre experience more before branching out. you really do learn a helluva a lot even if you think you dont
Me: Maybe you do if you have a director who cares, but mine doesn't anymore. Doing "Mattress" I learned more than I have in the last several school shows. Namely that theatre could be fun again. I want to have that experience again.
Amanda: and i understand that but you can only be in high school so long., youve got the rest of your frickin life to do other shows
Amanda: but you can audition go for it
Amanda: every audition is worth it
Amanda: im just saying why I PERSONALLY wouldnt do it

Am I over reacting 'cause I'm tired, or does this whole conversation sound kind of...I don't know...almost condescending? I can't come up with the right word at the moment. But especially at the end she seems really negative. There are about half a dozen other ways she could have said her piece without sounding so confrontational. Like I said, I don't know what her issue is. Most people think it's cool that I'm finding all these ways to branch out already, and get some experience outside of high school theatre. Yeah, you can learn alot...but you need to be with people who you respect and trust and vice versa. I don't feel that with the overwhelming majority of people involved with West Ottawa theatre. The notable exceptions would be Britt, April, Laura, Nicole and Jenny. And any other close friends who've appeared in this diary that I'm forgetting (lol, nice save!).

Okay, I'm really tired. So I'm going to bed...now.

--Angela

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